"To Do" List

Given one fewer hours of sleep last night, I took it -- waking up at my usual 5:13 am. Now in full vacation panic mode, I start my "To Do List" of things "To Do" before I leave on vacation. The list is long and complicated, but so far, I've completed one of the vital tasks, which was number one on my list: Write "To Do" List.

Here's the list ...

1. Write "To Do" List.

2. Figure out why "To Do" is capitalized and in quotation marks. Is it because I really don't want "To Do" these things? Or is it that I want to make them seem more important, vital, CAPITALIZED and "quotation marked"?

3. Have breakfast. It never hurts to have some easy things on the "To Do" list.

4. Stop capitalizing "to do" list.

5. Stop putting quotation marks around to do list.

6. Have another cup of coffee. Coffee is a good drug. Coffee is a legal drug. Why aren't other good drugs legal? Write to Jared Ainsworth and ask him if it's okay to call him Jarry. If it's okay, then ask him to legalize good drugs. He's been in Congress for several weeks already and he hasn't had a fistfight with a Republican yet. I expect more from my representative.

7. Stop thinking about Kathy Johnson's love of Neil Diamond. Stop thinking of the lyrics to Cherry, Cherry, which basically go ...

She got the way to groove me
She got the way to move me 
Cherry, Cherry.

Try not to look at Neil Diamond album cover on the left! What, in the name of all that's wholesome and godly, is going on in this picture?

8. Start thinking about Gram Parsons' lyrics. Compare and contrast Gram and Neil. Waste an hour trying to find some totally awesome and bitchin' Gram Parsons' lyrics. Finally realize the utter brilliance of ... 

There's nothing new that can be said about dirt.

Now, that's what I call songwriting!

Admire Gram Parsons' photo on right! Nice hat, Gram!


9. Realize this so-called To Do List is getting very, very old. Segue awkwardly to today's Totally Awesome and Bitchin' Word of the Day: Ineffable!

Again, I have no idea what Ineffable means, and I have no intention of looking it up. But admit it, imaginary blog reader, we've all met too many Ineffable  people. And there have been times, especially around closing time when we've had a pop or three that we'd like to meet someone a little more Effable! In a world full of Ineffable, insufferable, insomethingorother people, an Effable companion can be a good thing!


In other vacation news, Dave Hannaford emails from Kauai to inform me that it has been raining for the past two days. As Sergeant Millsap used to say at miserable Fort Bliss, this sounds like a personal problem Dave! What do I care about your rainy Kauai? I won't be there until tomorrow, when the weather will be of worldwide importance.

Until then, back to my to do list!